Build a Black Belt Mindset With The Tenants of Tae Kwon Do

We connect the 5 tenets of Tae kwon do to modern personal growth and show how they build real self-worth through daily choices. We translate martial arts discipline into practical tools for confidence, emotional control, resilience, and better relationships. 
• courtesy as intentional respect and a calming pause in social moments 
• integrity as values aligned with actions and the foundation of self-trust 
• small promises that compound into quiet confidence 
• perseverance as resolve that outlasts changing motivation 
• lowering the barrier to entry to stay consistent 
• self-control as emotional regulation and the space before reacting 
• the 90-second rule for riding out intense emotions 
• indomitable spirit as courage, resilience, and freedom from fear of failure 
• combining the tenets to stay strong, grounded, and kind 
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The Sage Solutions Podcast and content posted by David Sage is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. No coaching client relationship is formed by listening to this podcast. No Legal, Medical or Financial advice is being given. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user's own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice, diagnosis, or treatment of a psychotherapist, physician, professional coach, Lawyer or other qualified professional. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions. The opinions of guests are their own and may not necessarily reflect the opinions of the podcast.

Transcript

Welcome And Why Martial Arts Matters

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Welcome to the Sage Solutions Podcast, where we talk about all things personal growth, personal development, and becoming your best self. My name is David Sage, and I'm a self-worth and confidence coach with Sage Coaching Solutions. I wanted to share something with you today that really shaped a lot of my early development and changed the way that I thought about personal development before I even really thought about personal development. Long before I became a life coach. I grew up doing martial arts. Specifically as a child, I did Taekwondo, a Korean martial art. And then later on I wrestled in high school, but for a long time, Taekwondo was my main focus. And eventually I earned my black belt. I guess my current rank in Taekwondo would be a first-degree black belt third tick. So I was one test away from becoming a second-degree black belt. Now there is built-in discipline and ethics within pretty much all of the major martial arts. But for anyone who is unfamiliar or who has never done a martial art, pretty much every martial art that you will learn, especially here in the United States, is framed in the context of learning it for self-defense. It is not the cobra kai strike first, strike hard from karate kid. This is something that you are learning for the ability to defend yourself. And with that comes a certain level of restraint and ethics. Now, if you ever have taken a traditional martial arts class, you know that physical training is only half of the equation. While you do spend lots of time kicking or striking bags, wave masters, targets, even boards and bricks, or memorizing the traditional forms, learning the different moves, and sparring, you also spend a considerable amount of time meditating, sitting quietly, or reciting the principles and ideologies of the martial art. Now I'm not going to talk on all martial arts today. I just want to talk about some of the major things that I learned

The Five Tenets Of Taekwondo

SPEAKER_00 2:45

from my time and experience. I learned Taekwondo in Wisconsin from J.K. Lee Black Belt Academy. Now in Taekwondo specifically, there are five core tenets, and we had to memorize them. We had to say them out loud at either the beginning or end of a class, and we had to demonstrate them with our actions. And those five tenets are Yeui or Courtesy, Yom Chi or integrity, in Ne or Perseverance Ku Qi or self control and Pek Jubu or indomitable spirit. Once again, those are courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self-control, and indomitable spirit. When I was younger, I had to repeat these so many times that these words stuck out to me. We had to learn what they meant, but I also remember talking to my parents about what they meant. And while I primarily thought about them in the context of Taekwondo, I think they invariably ended up having an influence on my life outside of Taekwondo. I think I came to view these as very good traits that would help me in life and were a foundation of being a good person. Now I don't think that these five are the definition of being a good person, but I think that these are definitely great traits that we can build like a muscle, things that we can improve and strive for that will help us throughout our lives. And now that I'm older, I definitely see the value of many of these significantly more than I did when I was a kid. Especially now that I've spent a huge portion of my career helping people with their lives and also helping them navigate their own minds and try to build their traits, especially self-worth and confidence. So today we're going to walk through all five of the tenets and talk about how they can help improve your life. But before we get into it, our goal with this podcast is to share free, helpful tools with you and anyone you know who is looking to improve their life. So take action. Subscribe and share this podcast with

Courtesy As Intentional Respect

SPEAKER_00 5:35

them. So let's start with the first tenant, courtesy. In Taekwondo, courtesy means showing respect to your instructors, your training partners, your peers, and the space itself. You bow when you enter a room and you bow when you leave a room. You bow to your partner before you spar. You acknowledge the humanity in the person standing across from you, and you show them respect. You especially respect your instructors and your elders by calling them sir, ma'am, or miss. So in your daily life, courtesy is the practice of intentional respect. We live in a world where it's very easy to be entirely wrapped up in our own stress. We have places to be, emails to answer, and often endless to-do lists. Courtesy is the active choice to pause and recognize that other people exist, and that they have feelings, that you live in the world with other people, and treating people with courtesy is the right thing to do. Courtesy refers to being polite, considerate, and behaving with respect and manners. Practicing courtesy has a massive impact on your well being. When you choose to be polite, you signal to your own brain that you are safe and in control, and you signal the same to others. Courtesy will serve you incredibly well in your social interactions and in your life. People who are constantly snapping at others are usually operating from a place of deep anxiety, anger, or burnout. When you practice saying please, holding the door, or simply listening when someone speaks, you lower the temperature in the room. You create an environment where people want to collaborate with you, and where you want to collaborate with them. Building courtesy requires you to practice the pause and intentionally be thoughtful and caring to others. Tomorrow, when you're interacting with, say, a cashier or a coworker or even your partner, take a deep breath before you speak. Give them your full attention. Even if it's just for five seconds, look them in the eye and speak to them with the assumption that they are doing their best. Help them, be kind to them, treat them with respect, and you will notice almost immediately how much smoother your day feels when you bring intentional respect to your interactions with courtesy.

Integrity And Self-Trust

SPEAKER_00 8:23

The second tenet is integrity. In Taekwondo, we were taught integrity as knowing right from wrong and having the conscience to feel guilt when you fall short of doing the right thing, even when no one's looking. That concept has always stuck with me as profoundly important and very honest. It acknowledges that you will make mistakes, and it asks you to maintain the self-awareness to recognize when you do. Now integrity is defined as the practice of being honest, adhering to strong moral principles, and consistently doing the right thing, even when no one is watching. It's doing what you said you were going to do. It's following a code of ethics, oftentimes described as being a man of your word, and it's living in line with your values. In the coaching space, I talk about integrity as the alignment between your values and your actions, and about doing things that make you feel proud of yourself, that make you feel confident. It means doing the right thing when nobody is watching. Acting ethically and authentically. Being the type of person that you can be proud of is a major way to feel confidence in who you are. And another very important part of integrity is keeping the promises that you make to yourself and to others. A major part of confidence is building self-trust. And you build self-trust through integrity. When you tell yourself you're going to wake up at six in the morning, and then you actually get out of bed at six in the morning, you earn a little bit of trust with yourself. When you commit to eating better and you follow through, your brain learns that your words have meaning. To build integrity, you need to start small, like making a tiny promise to yourself today and then keeping it. Tell yourself you will drink a glass of water before coffee and do it. Tell yourself you will read for ten minutes before bed, and then do it. Tell yourself that you will show up for your friend and then do it. Make your actions match your words. Over time, that consistency stacks up into a quiet, unshakable confidence. Integrity is incredibly important in so many different domains. It is one of the major factors that creates trust between people. So not only is it good for you, but it's good for your relationships and for the world.

Perseverance Through The Plateau

SPEAKER_00 11:22

The third tenant is perseverance. Earning a black belt takes years. There are long periods where you feel like you're not really getting any better. You practice the same block, the same kick, the same form a thousand times. Perseverance is the willingness to keep going through that plateau. In our lives, perseverance is the engine of any meaningful change. Motivation is a feeling, and feelings constantly change. Resolve is one of the major drivers of perseverance. You might wake up feeling incredibly motivated on Monday, and by Thursday that feeling is entirely gone. Perseverance is the decision to take action regardless of the feeling, and what gets you to actually do it is resolve. It is the commitment to do the boring, repetitive work required to get where you want to go. Having perseverance changes your life because it removes the pressure to feel perfect before you act. You accept that growth requires friction. You expect the journey to be hard. So you're not surprised or derailed when the difficulty shows up. You can build perseverance by lowering your barrier to entry. If you want to start exercising, commit to putting your shoes on and walking for five minutes. Maybe do that every single day. Build the habit of showing up, of doing the boring stuff, of pushing through when things get difficult. And at that time, remind yourself that the discomfort is part of the process. Your goal is to stay on the

Self-Control And Emotional Regulation

SPEAKER_00 13:15

path. The fourth tenet of taekwondo is self-control. When you are sparring in any martial art, but my experiences in Taekwondo, you have to throw your kicks and punches at full speed, but you also have to pull them back at the very last second. That might sound confusing. What it means is having control over your body. You're not wildly flailing your body parts at people. They're happening in a controlled but powerful manner. You're aiming to have complete command over your physical body to avoid injury for yourself and for your partner. But more than that, self-control in Taekwondo is what keeps the martial art self-defense. Because if you are going to train in a martial art, in an activity that can make it so that you could hurt people, you need restraint, you need self-control to make sure that you are only using it when needed. And further than that, off the mat, self-control is about emotional regulation. It's the ability to manage your impulses. We all experience moments of frustration, anger, fear, and temptation. Self-control is the gap between feeling an emotion and taking an action based on that emotion. It's managing your impulses. This tenant might have one of the highest immediate impacts on your relationships and your career. When you lack self-control, you react impulsively, you say things you regret, you make decisions based on temporary feelings, and you often get yourself in trouble or do things that you really regret. When you develop self-control, you choose your responses thoughtfully. You allow yourself to feel the anger or the anxiety. And then you consult your values before you decide what to do next. In order to practice self-control, you need to create space. When you feel a strong emotion rising up, take a step back. If necessary, take a physical step back. Give yourself the time that you need, maybe a minute, maybe five minutes, maybe ten minutes before you send that email or respond to that comment or say something that you will regret. Let the physical sensation of the emotion wash over you and begin to fade. Mo Godot and many others have talked about a ninety second rule, where you let the adrenaline of a high powered emotion wash over you. You let yourself feel it without leaning into it, without stoking the flames for ninety seconds. After ninety seconds, the adrenaline begins to recede, and it's that much easier to regain control over your emotions. And as they begin to fade, once you have a clear head, decide what action actually serves your long term goals.

Indomitable Spirit As Resilience

SPEAKER_00 16:47

And then the final tenet, indomitable spirit. In martial arts, an indomitable spirit means having the courage to stand up for your principles and for what you believe in against overwhelming odds. It's the spirit that refuses to be broken, even when you're facing a larger opponent or an impossible board break. In personal development, indomitable spirit translates directly to resilience and courage. You will face situations in your life where doing the right thing is deeply uncomfortable. You will have moments when setting a boundary feels terrifying. You will pursue goals that other people think are foolish. Indomitable spirit is the quiet voice inside of you that chooses to move forward anyways. Cultivating this spirit changes everything because it frees you from the fear of failure. You realize that falling down is just data. Getting rejected is just information. Your spirit remains intact because your worth isn't determined by the result. It's uplifted by your willingness to try, not the immediate outcome of the attempt. You build an indomitable spirit through small acts of bravery. Have that difficult conversation with your friend. Ask for the raise you know you've earned. Try the new hobby you're completely terrible at. Every time you step into discomfort willingly, you strengthen your spirit. You prove to yourself that you can handle being uncomfortable, and that proof is the foundation of an indomitable spirit and real courage.

Combining The Tenets In Daily Life

SPEAKER_00 18:41

Courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self control, and indomitable spirit. You don't need to put a uniform on or step onto a mat to practice these five things. You can practice them anywhere, in your kitchen, at your office, and in your relationships. Though personally, I'd recommend it. I loved it. And the real magic happens when they're combined. Multiple of these help moderate the others. Perseverance and indomitable spirit are the powerhouses that keep you pushing, growing, and improving. The discipline and consistency of perseverance combined with the courage and resilience of an indomitable spirit are likely to help you succeed in life. But integrity and self control keep you grounded, doing the right thing even when no one's looking, and practicing self restraint when you feel the impulse to do something wrong or that you would regret. And then courtesy is the bow that wraps it all together by remembering that you live in the world with other people. And being kind, respectful, polite, and thoughtful to other people helps both you and them. But let's not overcomplicate it. Pick one of these tenets. Maybe one that you want to focus on is integrity by keeping a small promise to yourself. Maybe you want to practice self-control by taking a breath before you respond to a frustrating situation. Bring your attention to it, practice it deliberately, and build that muscle. And as you build these muscles of your life, let them teach you the wisdom that comes from living it. And remember, you are enough, and you deserve to fill up your inner cup with happiness, true confidence, and resilience.

Final Takeaways, Subscribe, Legal Note

SPEAKER_00 20:54

Thank you for listening to the Sage Solutions podcast. Your time is valuable, and I'm so glad you choose to learn and grow here with me. If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss out on more Sage advice. One last thing. The legal language. This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. No coaching client relationship is formed. It is not intended as a substitute for the personalized advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.