The Sage Solutions Podcast Highlights of 2025: Part 3

We share John’s moving journey with terminal liver cancer and how gratitude, faith, and family helped him shift from anger to agency. We explore identity beyond thoughts, mastering state with the triad, the power of framing, interdependence in relationships, and the true meaning of forgiveness.

• the goal of free, helpful tools for growth
• John’s diagnosis and the mental shift from anger to acceptance
• the impact of depression on loved ones and choosing grace
• support from family, faith, and Tuesdays With Morrie
• savoring small moments and rejecting materialism
• identity as awareness, not thoughts
• stories, bias, and editing your narrative
• mastering state with physiology, focus, and language
• framing reality to change perspective
• moving from dependence to interdependence
• authenticity, intent, and social masks
• letting go, internal forgiveness, and reclaiming control
• format update to longer, biweekly episodes

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The Sage Solutions Podcast and content posted by David Sage is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. No coaching client relationship is formed by listening to this podcast. No Legal, Medical or Financial advice is being given. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user's own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice, diagnosis, or treatment of a psychotherapist, physician, professional coach, Lawyer or other qualified professional. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions. The opinions of guests are their own and may not necessarily reflect the opinions of the podcast.

Transcript

Welcome & Purpose

SPEAKER_01 0:03

Welcome to the Sage Solutions Podcast, where we talk about all things personal growth, personal development, and becoming your best self. My name is David Sage, and I am a self-worth and confidence coach with Sage Coaching Solutions. I'm gonna keep it short and sweet. This is part three of our highlights of the Sage Solutions podcast in 2025. I hope you enjoy. But before we get into it, our goal with this podcast is to share free, helpful tools with you and anyone you know who is looking to improve their life. So take action, subscribe, and share this podcast with them. I would not be the person that I am today without the lessons that he has taught me and without the major influence that he's had on my life. So everyone, please welcome my stepfather, John Azalina.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

Good afternoon, David. Thank you for having me on today. I appreciate everything. I found a tumor that was growing in my vein from my liver to my heart. Doctor pretty much said he didn't know how I was even standing there. The situation it was always real, if that makes sense. But that particular day everything got more real. He was shocked I was even alive. So then I had a decision to make. Obviously, as we've discussed here, my situation's terminal. It's been amazing being home. I'm probably the most fortunate individual that you know. And it's hard for people to say, what do you mean? I am blessed beyond any words can say with the family and the friends that I have. I wouldn't be here without them. Without David, without his mom, his sister, his wife, my mom, my brother. And I can't tell them how much I love him enough. Thank you. I'm probably the healthiest terminal patient you guys will ever talk to or meet or uh listen to. It's kind of the running joke that I have to make for everyone else and myself.

SPEAKER_01 2:38

Oftentimes, some of our biggest struggles, while we wouldn't wish them on anyone, become our biggest areas for growth. I also know that you and Hannah bonded over an unfortunate but shared trauma of having both lost your fathers. And I know that you have been an incredibly helpful presence for her in that healing and grieving process. Is there anything you'd like to say on that?

Gratitude And Family Support

SPEAKER_00 3:16

No, I'd be happy to. Please bear with me on this.

SPEAKER_01 3:22

Take your time.

Bonding Through Loss And Healing

SPEAKER_00 3:24

Hannah means a great deal to me. If I'm an amazing young lady. And yeah, you're right. We uh did bond because of hardship or pain. And it sucks. The thing that right now for me, how I feel, is without Hannah, I she's done so much in my pro my situation here and helping me through it. But as I said, I I love her. I'm in a lot better state of mind than I was a few months ago. And part of that is because of Hannah and everything that she's done on her days off. She takes the time to come over and spend some time with me, talk with me. We listen to audiobooks together. One of the most profound, uh, inspiring audiobooks I've ever read was Tuesdays with Maury. She wanted to share that with me. Her dad had read that, and I'm so thankful that she shared that with me. I recommend that book to anyone, whether you're going through what I'm going through or not. Maury is my hero. And everything that he dealt with and how he handled the situation. If I handle my situation with a little bit of grace and dignity as he did, I will be a better person for it. He handled himself with nothing but grace, and I I hope I can do half that.

SPEAKER_01 5:12

I'd like to dive into your experiences, your mindset, what led you to this point, and maybe any lessons that you might have surrounding this.

SPEAKER_00 5:25

Three months ago, I wouldn't be able to be sitting here being on this podcast. I was not in the mental state that I want needed to be or wanted to be. My friends and everyone that knows me and knows me well knew I was masked and everything, I would say, oh, I'm fine. But I wasn't. I had uh some built-up anger, frustration, quite a bit of anger, to be honest with you. Uh not that, oh, why'd this happen to me? I had to do some looking at myself in the mirror. And yeah, it sucks that I developed uh terminal liver cancer, but some of it's on me. For part of my adult life, well, most of my adult life, I smoked. I drank. Why? I don't know. But my mindset was not where it needed to be. It was not just her affecting me on a daily basis, it was affecting the most important people in my life. Laura, David, Hannah, Hannah, my mom, my brother, my uncle. They saw what I was going through, especially Laura, because she's with me all the time. She put on that strong face and oh, it's okay, because some of my frustration would be not directed towards her, but she was in the vicinity of it. I also didn't want cancer to define me. Meaning, oh, he was a great guy, and he got cancer and he became an asshole. It's not the way I wanted to be portrayed by my loved ones and everyone else that knew me.

Tuesdays With Morrie And Perspective

SPEAKER_01 7:04

Well, and John, I do want to say this. Your life changed, and your future surrounding your life changed quite a bit. And I'm really happy that you're in the headspace that you're in now. Um really, I wanted nothing more than that. But I also don't fault you for where you were at. And I don't think you should fault yourself for that either. You know, you were dealing with stages of grief, whether whether they were in the preset order that they talk about, we don't need to get into the specifics of that. But frankly, so many areas of your life and your future were changing simultaneously that it's totally understandable that your brain, your body, your spirit would need to take time to process that in different ways, to grieve what you are losing and to find a way forward. It's very rare for somebody to go through a grieving process without anger. It's basically an essential step. It's a part of the process that you can't really skip. It's just about when it happens. So I'm not telling you how to, you know, live your life or anything. I just do think that you deserve grace for going through the steps in the way that you needed to.

SPEAKER_00 8:41

I really appreciate you saying that, David. Um, but looking back, it was it was more than that. Um it was affecting everyone else. You, your mom. My depression made them, I mean, I know how much you guys care about me. And it was affecting them on a daily basis, and I didn't want that. And also I didn't I didn't want cancer to, for lack of better terms, to find me. I'm trying not to let my uh remaining time be uh controlled by this disease. Sure. And uh I'm not saying it doesn't affect me because it does, but I don't want I don't want it to affect me in the most negative ways because I saw what it was doing firsthand to your mom. Uh she was my depression made her depressed. She is one of the strongest people and woman I've ever met, and I couldn't be going through this without her. Um I didn't want my situation to make her depressed.

Anger, Grief, And Self-Reflection

SPEAKER_01 9:50

I think it's very insightful of you to have reflected so heavily on how your situation was also affecting the people that you love. What you're going through is something I can't even fathom. And I think once you became fully aware of that collateral damage, you made a decision, and since you've made that decision, you've stuck with it. And being able to have the mindset that you have now in the situation that you're in is something that I'm both incredibly impressed with and very proud of. So I I want you to know that I'm proud of you, and I love you, and we're going to get through this together, and I brought you on here because I know that you have a lot of value to provide to the people listening to this.

Choosing Mindset Over Despair

SPEAKER_00 10:52

So I do appreciate you saying that, David. I needed to get out of that mindset because I was I was grieving inside, and since then I'm in a better place. And how I got there, it wasn't easy. I contribute my mindset change to a few factors. One, Hannah, on her days off, she takes the time to come over and read uh listening to that Tuesdays with Mori audiobook with me, spending time with me. David, when he's available, coming with Anna and listening to this podcast. And then David's sister Anna, one day she had asked me to uh go to church with her. I know along the road I lost my way and faith, and your sisters uh brought that back back into my life, and it's helped. Um it may not be for everyone, but uh it's really helped me to come to peace with everything. I'm not gonna sit here and dive into the whole religion thing or whatnot. In this particular church where I go, it works for me. It's been good for me. I've gone every Sunday now for over two months. The support system that I have, Laura, my family, my friends, keep me grounded. I have a small village behind me, and I'm fortunate that way. If it wasn't for the small village, Hannah, Anna, David, and everyone, I wouldn't be sitting here on this podcast talking to you guys. It's really transformed on how I conduct my daily life and how I look at things. I mean, I'm not going to be able to change my situation, my health. I can only make the best of what is dealt. Nowadays, I enjoy the little things, waking up in the morning. Okay, I got another day. I'm spending time with all my loved ones, my family, my friends. So I just enjoy the little things and try to go as far as I can. I think the worst thing that the doctors did is put a timeline on my life. Because now I'm out to prove them wrong. And uh I'm gonna do everything I can. It's not just to prove them wrong, it's also for me. I want a little more time with everyone. I've I've been fortunate enough to enjoy life and every everything that goes along with it. I do want to simply touch on one thing. I'm not here to preach to anyone. But don't get caught up on the material things in this world. The house, the cars, the money, whatnot. Can't take it with you. Enjoy the things that that truly matter. The people that we in engage with. Those are what really matters. Cause now I've gotten the house, the car, the whatever. It doesn't mean anything to me. I just want more time with these people. I'm gonna leave it at that. Thank you for everything.

Faith, Community, And A New Routine

Savoring Small Moments And Defying Timelines

What Truly Matters Beyond Material Things

Who Are You Beyond Thoughts

Stories, Bias, And Personal Narratives

SPEAKER_01 14:22

Who are you? For most of us, when we're asked this question, the answer that we give is a collection of memories, beliefs, and experiences. You might say, I'm a person who is anxious. Or I'm someone who has always struggled with confidence. But these are just the stories that we're telling ourselves. I'm smart, I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm strong. Even these depend on the frame of reference. Are you fat compared to a whale? Are you strong compared to a truck? These are really just narratives that we've constructed over time to make sense of the world. And while these stories can provide a sense of identity, they can also become our prisons. So let me ask you this. Are you your thoughts? Well, Rene Descartes seemed to think so. The rationalist philosopher said the now famous phrase I think, therefore I am. This was a valid argument that essentially stated the fact that you can think proves that you exist. Otherwise you wouldn't be able to have that thought in the first place. And while this was definitely a powerful assertion, something that really got us to start thinking about thinking and about who we are and what we are, I'd like to question the idea that you are your thoughts. Does that mean that every thought that ever occurs to you is an essential part of your being and defines you? Does it mean that if you ever stop thinking, you cease to exist? Have you ever had thoughts that weren't true, or random thoughts or ideas that popped into your head? Do you always choose the thoughts that you have? Or do they just come into your head sometimes without any conscious effort on your part? Have you ever had an argument with yourself in your head, using multiple different voices to weigh the pros and cons of a point, almost as if two separate people are having a conversation. Well, how can you really be both of those? How can those be your essence? Have you ever acted without thinking? So are you your thoughts? Are your thoughts what defines you? No. Because you don't cease to exist when you're not having a thought. You aren't solely defined by the thoughts that you have. So your thoughts aren't you. They're an extension of you. But they aren't you. You are the one who experiences your thoughts. You are the consciousness or the awareness that experiences your thoughts. Because that consciousness, that awareness experiences your life even when you're not thinking about things. You are that silent awareness. You are a consciousness that simply experiences your life. Our brains are meaning making machines. It was evolutionarily advantageous for us to weave narratives so that we could understand the world through stories and predict what might happen next. It's one of the fundamentals of how our brain conceives things. We experience reality and our life as a story that we are currently living through, which means the easiest way for us to think about things is to create stories surrounding them. We take these disparate events and string them together into a coherent plot. This is our personal narrative. But here's the catch. Our narrative, our mind, isn't always reliable. It's biased by our past experiences, our fears, our inherent cognitive biases, our tendency towards logical fallacies, our insecurities, our beliefs, and the fact that our brain can only take so much information in at a time, meaning that we never have the full story. These flaws in our brain's ability to see the world in a truly objective way, are why the stories that we tell ourselves can easily get us stuck. We start to believe these stories as absolute truths. I'm not good enough to start that business, becomes a fact, not just a thought. I'll never find a loving partner, becomes a prophecy, not just a fear. We live our lives within the confines of these self-created stories. Often without ever questioning their validity. But what if you could become the editor of your own story? By understanding that you are the one experiencing your story, your life, and that just because your brain tells you stories about your life and the world that you live in, it doesn't make them true. By detaching ourselves from our thoughts as our identities, we create a whole nother level of power and agency over our lives. Your state is the sum of your emotions and your physiology at any given moment. It's really the lens through which you experience the world. That's right, your current state is one of the biggest drivers of your perspective of reality. Especially when you're not being conscious about it. It dictates the quality of your life. When you think about it, the quality of your relationships, your career, your health, it all comes down to the emotional states that you live in most consistently. Because when you're in an off state, when your nervous system is dysregulated, you don't show up in the way that you want to. Hell, I know I don't. But when you're in a resourceful state, a powerful state, feeling confident, happy, determined, and energized, you're more creative, you're more resilient, and you're more likely to take positive, massive actions. You find solutions, you connect with people, you solve problems, you see opportunities where other people see obstacles. When you're in an unresourceful state, feeling overwhelmed, fearful, angry, or lethargic, the opposite is true. The world's challenges just seem so big and insurmountable. The very same problem that would look like a fun challenge in this positive resourceful state looks like an impossible mountain when you're in a negative, poor state. Tony Robbins, the incredible motivational teacher, often says success is 80%. You can have the best strategy in the world, or the mechanics, the best business plan, the perfect diet, the most effective communication technique. But if you're in a lousy state, you won't use it. Or if you do, you'll use it poorly. That's why mastering your state is easily one of the most critical skills that you can develop. It's one of the major foundations upon which all other success is built. As we talked about in a previous episode, your thoughts, even if they're just observational about your life, tend to generate emotions surrounding those thoughts. And those emotions tend to be the major drivers of our decisions and actions, whether we realize it or not. Many times that we think we're making a logical decision, it's just that logic and emotions are lining up. We are making a decision based on an emotion that is driving us to take action, and then backwards rationalizing it with logic. This means that taking control of our emotional state, of our major driver of the actions and decisions that we make in our lives, makes it a super muscle, kind of like grit, and one of the most useful tools in our toolkit. So how do we do it? How do we take conscious control? Tony teaches us a powerful and brilliantly simple framework called the triad. I want you to imagine a triangle with three points. At each point is a lever. A lever that you can pull to instantly change your state. These three levers are interconnected. Change one, and you influence the other two. Those three levers are physiology, focus, and language. Framing is the story we tell ourselves about what's happening. It's the mental filter that information passes through before we form a judgment about it. Sound familiar? Think of it like a picture frame. The very same photograph can look dramatically different depending on the picture frame that you use. Is it in a cheap cracked plastic frame or a beautiful ornate wood one? The picture itself hasn't changed, but the frame transforms our perception of its value and meaning. But the power of framing has a much greater effect than a picture frame does on a picture. Let's take a look at another use of the word frame. The glasses that somebody wears, they put the lenses into a frame, right? So the frames or the lenses, the glasses that you're wearing dramatically changes how you see the same object. It is the lens in which you are using that can either make things much more clear that seemed hazy, or they can actually make things much more blurry if you were already seeing it clear. A positive or helpful frame, or a negative or unhelpful frame, can work just like these glasses. Another helpful way that we can visualize a mental frame is the actual taking of a picture with a camera. Certain things are inside of that picture, inside of the frame. When you zoom in, it's focusing on a specific area, making that much bigger and cutting out a whole bunch of the frame. When you zoom out, you actually see much more of the picture, much more of reality and what's around, while not focusing on or hyperfocusing on a specific detail. If you turn around with the same camera, you'll be taking a picture of something completely different while standing in the same spot. And even after you take the picture, if it's taken from your phone, you can put filters on it to make it look different or give it a totally different vibe. You can crop it, you can zoom in, you can change small details, you can add a story or a caption that explains it. Then print that picture, put it in a picture frame, a really nice one to give it a very different look, and then wear glasses that make it much clearer. Mental framing is that powerful. The first core fundamental that I covered was about our perspectives of reality, and how our perspective shapes the mass majority of our experience of reality. Now some of our perspective is unconscious and outside of our control, though we can shift and slowly shape that as well. The largest part of our control, of our experience of reality, is our conscious perspective. Your perception of reality is primarily influenced by your perspective of reality. And the biggest factor in your perspective of reality are the lenses, the frames that you see it through, the angle, the shot, the zoom, the lenses of your eyes, the glasses, the filters, and even the emotional state from which you're viewing it, and especially the stories you tell yourself about it. Framing is the primary tool that we use to adjust our conscious perspective of reality. So I'm actually going to break it down even further into four different topics Dependence, independence, codependence, and interdependence. Everyone starts fully dependent. As infants, we are completely reliant on our caregivers for survival. It's a necessary and beautiful stage of life. Nobody blames a baby for not being independent. But as we grow, the goal is to move beyond this. The challenge is that sometimes we carry some of the patterns of dependence into our adult relationships. This can look like needing constant validation from a partner, being unable to make decisions on your own. Or feeling a sense of panic at the thought of being alone at all. It's a state of, but I can't without you.

SPEAKER_03 28:49

I tend to consider myself a decently independent person. And it in the past I probably would have said, I'm extremely independent. But if I was actually extremely independent, I'd be some lone wolf girl living in a cave who didn't know how to communicate, eating bugs for a living.

SPEAKER_01 29:11

With like no education, no language.

SPEAKER_03 29:13

I'd be like growling. Yeah, so it's one thing to say I'm independent, but to say I am extremely independent person. It's like, well, the shirt you're wearing is from China. Someone made that. Like, I don't think you are as independent as you say. But you can have independent qualities that you appreciate about yourself.

SPEAKER_01 29:35

It's probably better to be much more on the independent side than much more on the dependent side.

SPEAKER_03 29:42

In a codependent relationship, one person relies excessively on another for emotional support and validation, often to the detriment of their own needs and well-being.

SPEAKER_01 29:53

Well, the goal, the sweet spot, the foundation of truly thriving relationships is interdependence. Interdependence is the state of we choose to cooperate for our mutual benefit.

SPEAKER_03 30:10

All while maintaining your individuality and autonomy.

Mastering State: Physiology, Focus, Language

SPEAKER_01 30:14

It's the beautiful synergistic space where two whole independent people come together to create something greater than the sum of their parts. Think of it like two strong pillars standing side by side to support a magnificent arch. If one pillar is weak dependence, the arch crumbles. If the pillars are too far apart, full independence, they can't support anything together. If they are leaning on each other just to stay upright, codependence, then they are both unstable and easily knocked over. But when they stand strong on their own, side by side, not too close, not too far apart, they can create something beautiful and enduring. In this example, each pillar are the individuals making up the relationship. But the strength of the relationship, or the relationship itself, is the archway, not the pillars. As we saw in the example, it seems that the healthiest relationships, both for the relationship and for the individuals, are built on a foundation of interdependence.

SPEAKER_02 31:30

Something I've been thinking a lot about lately is how in different social situations we act differently. Some of that is normal. And then in other situations, you look at someone doing that and think, gosh, they're so inauthentic or they're being so fake. So I've been thinking a lot about what the gray area is in what's the normal amount of shifting and changing how you act and behave and respond in a social situation.

SPEAKER_01 32:03

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 32:04

Versus what makes it have a negative connotation of being fake or inauthentic.

SPEAKER_03 32:12

But you know, I get what you're saying, because I feel like everyone has met different people who at times you kind of have a moment of feeling like maybe they are coming across as quote unquote fake. But then once you get to know them, you actually realize that sometimes that just is their personality.

SPEAKER_01 32:30

Yeah. I think that this is a complicated topic because there's so many factors in play, especially if you get into like whether somebody is on a job or not. You know, sometimes people are coming off inauthentic because people are in a negative state or like a foul mood, but they understand that if they were just going to be authentic with it, they'd be drawing everyone else down. So they're putting on a little bit of a facade in an attempt to, you know, spare others from that.

SPEAKER_03 33:08

I think there's a lot of different relationships that we're in. Some of them are a little bit more shallow and don't necessarily need to go into a deeper place, especially coming from someone who's a little bit more. I'm extroverted, but I'm naturally more of an introvert. So I'm social, yes. But sometimes I do need to turn it on. And that does probably come across as a little inauthentic.

SPEAKER_02 33:34

Yeah, but I I know what you're talking about. And I've seen you kind of shift a little bit and be inauthentic in moments, but it's never left an impact on me of like, uh.

Framing As A Tool For Perspective

SPEAKER_01 33:46

I think the intent behind whether somebody is being true to themselves, authentic, is a big part of it. And I think when you're reading that the intent is not malicious, when the intent is to help themselves get through a state or to make the whole social exchange go better. I I think the biggest thing here is trying to understand people's intent. I think it's very easy for us to think that we're better judges of people's intentions on social situations than we actually are.

SPEAKER_02 34:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:24

Because we're so caught up in the stories that we're telling ourselves about the situation that's based on our perspective. When most of the actual intent is based on the stories that they're telling themselves that we can't hear. Right.

SPEAKER_02 35:00

Social cues. Yeah. And it's not really about them. Hmm.

From Dependence To Interdependence

Authenticity, Social Masks, And Intent

SPEAKER_01 35:05

And then when we get into the functionality of it, what is the alternative? Let's say they are being inauthentic and they don't really like you. Would you prefer that they just outwardly stated that they don't like you and caused more of a scene and made it extra awkward? Wouldn't you feel like they were being super rude and mean? I don't know that the alternative is really any better than them just being inauthentic. I think if somebody doesn't like you, it's not gonna feel good either way. But it's more socially acceptable for them to be fake about it. I don't think I'd rather have somebody just be straight up mean to me. And I guess the third alternative is that they're so good at being inauthentic that you don't even realize they don't like you. I don't know if I'd prefer that one either. Because then it's just about not wanting to know that they don't like you. Which would mean that it's only okay if they're super skilled at being inauthentic. And I don't think that's what we're looking for either. There's definitely value in having social intelligence and being able to read other people and social situations well, but at the end of the day, I don't have control over what they think of me. So I'm just gonna focus on my locus of control and let them. I'm excited to announce that this is the first podcast that we're recording of our second year as a podcast, and averaging somewhere around 30. We're going to be moving to a slightly longer format. Ranging from 20 minutes long to a full hour, and averaging about 40 minutes long. This is so that we can dig deeper, put extra effort into each individual episode, and bring you even more value. We're sticking with Tuesday releases, but instead of releasing a new podcast every Tuesday, we're going to be releasing a little bit longer podcast on average every other Tuesday. Imagine you're hiking up a beautiful mountain. The sun is warm, the view is getting better and better, and you woke up ready to go. But you're carrying this backpack. And in that backpack, you've been placing a rock for every single time someone has wronged you, for every mistake that you've made, for every outcome that didn't go your way. At first, it's just a few pebbles. Feels a little weird, kind of annoying, but manageable. But after a few miles, after a few years, that backpack is overflowing. It's heavy. It's digging into your shoulders, slowing you down, and honestly making you miserable. You're so focused on the weight on your back that you can't even enjoy the incredible view in front of you. That backpack, my friends, is the weight of the things we refuse to let go. So let's be clear. Holding on to this stuff is not just making you mentally exhausted, it's physically harming you. It's like trying to drive forward while staring intently in the rearview mirror. You're not only missing the beautiful scenery in front of you, you're almost guaranteed to crash. Letting go isn't about saying what happened was okay. It's not about condoning someone's behavior or absolving a past mistake. It's about saying what happened is in the past, and I will no longer allow it to have power over my present and my future. It's about taking your energy back. It's an act of self-preservation. So what exactly is it that we're holding on to so tightly? It usually falls into one of a few categories. First, there are the grudges against others. Someone betrayed you. They let you down, they treated you unfairly. The anger feels justified, right? You know they were in the wrong. It feels like a shield protecting you. But that's just an illusion. A grudge is really just a poison that you continue to drink daily, hoping that the other person will die. They've likely moved on, and sadly you're the one left reliving the pain. Second, we hold on to regrets about our own actions, the job you didn't take, the words you wish you could take back, the decision that led you down a path you didn't want. We punish ourselves over and over and over just for being human, for being imperfect. And third, likely the most subtle of these three, is that we hold on to the ghost of who we thought we would be. We had a timeline. Married by thirty, corner office by forty, kids, a house, the whole nine yards. And when we didn't match that blueprint, we hold on to the disappointment like a failed project. Instead of seeing it as a simple and often beautiful detour. Regrets, grudges, and disappointments. The word forgiveness is loaded. We think it means condoning what happened. We think it means we have to call up the person who hurt us and say, It's okay, I forgive you and I'm letting you off the hook for that. But none of those things are actually required for forgiveness. It's one of the most profound misunderstandings of what forgiveness truly is and what it's for. Now, to be clear, you can verbally forgive somebody, and somebody can come to you seeking forgiveness. And sometimes that may be the way that you want to go about it. Letting a person know that you forgive them can be a powerful step in mending a relationship. But there are many a times where somebody does something where they don't deserve forgiveness and you don't want to mend that relationship. The process that we're talking about today, however, is an internal forgiveness. Internal forgiveness is not reconciliation. It's not even forgetting. It is the conscious decision to let go and cancel the emotional debt. You've been waiting for an apology or for justice that may never come. By forgiving, we are taking control of our locus of control. By forgiving, we are focusing on our locus and using our agency to heal ourselves. By forgiving, you stop waiting. You take back your power. You stop allowing that person or that situation to have control over your present emotional state. You are setting yourself free from the poison, from the prison. Alright, so that's all we have for this episode of our highlights of 2025. I originally intended for this to be a three-part series, but there was just so much value that I didn't want to make part three just ludicrously long, so there will be a part four coming out soon. And remember, you are enough, and you deserve to fill up your inner cup with happiness, true confidence, and resilience. Thank you for listening to the Sage Solutions podcast. Your time is valuable, and I'm so glad that you choose to. Learn and grow here with me. If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss out on more sage advice. One last thing. The legal language. This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. No coaching client relationship is formed. It is not intended as a substitute for the personalized advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.