Sage Solutions
Advice and insight about personal growth, personal development, and becoming your best self.
Sage Solutions
Who Are You? Beyond the Stories We Tell Ourselves
Who are you beyond your thoughts, feelings, and labels? This profound question serves as the gateway to a transformative exploration of human consciousness and personal narrative.
The journey begins by challenging Descartes' famous assertion "I think, therefore I am." Through thoughtful examination, we discover that we aren't our thoughts but rather the consciousness experiencing those thoughts. This distinction creates a powerful separation between our essential nature and the mental narratives that often dictate our lives. Your thoughts come and go, yet you remain—observing, experiencing, witnessing everything without being defined by any single element.
Our brains evolved as remarkable storytellers, constantly weaving narratives to make sense of our experiences. While this meaning-making function helped our ancestors survive, these stories aren't always accurate or helpful. They're filtered through biases, fears, and limited perspectives that can trap us in self-limiting beliefs. "I'm not good enough" or "I'll never succeed" aren't facts—they're stories we've internalized without questioning their validity. The good news? Neuroscience confirms we can rewire our brains to tell more empowering stories through mindfulness and conscious reframing.
Ready to become the author of your own life story? Begin by practicing mindfulness—observing your thoughts without judgment. When negative beliefs arise, question them: Is this 100% true? What evidence contradicts this story? Finally, actively rewrite your narrative by focusing on resilience, growth, and strength. As Carl Jung wisely noted, "I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become." By embracing yourself as the consciousness experiencing life rather than the story your mind tells about it, you gain the freedom to create a life that reflects your true potential instead of your fears. Subscribe now to continue this journey of self-discovery and personal transformation with us.
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The Sage Solutions Podcast and content posted by David Sage is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. No coaching client relationship is formed by listening to this podcast. No Legal, Medical or Financial advice is being given. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user's own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice, diagnosis, or treatment of a psychotherapist, physician, professional coach, Lawyer or other qualified professional. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions. The opinions of guests are their own and may not necessarily reflect the opinions of the podcast.
Welcome to the Sage Solutions Podcast, where we talk about all things personal growth, personal development and becoming your best self. My name is David Sage and I am a self-worth and confidence coach at Sage Coaching Solutions. So today I'm going to ask you a question, one that sits at the seat of your very existence who are you? Who are you really? What makes you you? What's your story? And, just as important, what are the stories you tell yourself about who you are and the world around you? Well, in this episode, we're going to take a stab at answering those questions, but before we get into it, our goal with this podcast is to share free, helpful tools with you and anyone you know who is looking to improve their life. So take action, subscribe and share this podcast with them.
Speaker 1:We live in a world obsessed with labels, with identities. We are our jobs, our roles in our families, our successes, our failures, but what if I told you that you're actually none of those things? What if I told you that your true self is something far more profound, something that can't be confined to just a title or to a description? So let's start with the big one who are you? For most of us, when we're asked this question, the answer that we give is a collection of memories, beliefs and experiences. You might say I'm a person who is anxious, or I'm someone who has always struggled with confidence, but these are just the stories that we're telling ourselves I'm smart, I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm strong. Even these depend on the frame of reference. Are you fat compared to a whale? Are you strong compared to a whale? Are you strong compared to a truck? These are really just narratives that we've constructed over time to make sense of the world, and while these stories can provide a sense of identity, they can also become our prisons. So let me ask you this Are you your thoughts? Well, rené Descartes seemed to think so.
Speaker 1:The rationalist philosopher said the now famous phrase I think. Therefore, I am. This was a valid argument that essentially stated the fact that you can think proves that you exist. Otherwise, you wouldn't be able to have that thought in the first place. And while this was definitely a powerful assertion, something that really got us to start thinking, about thinking and about who we are and what we are, I'd like to question the idea that you are your thoughts.
Speaker 1:Does that mean that every thought that ever occurs to you is an essential part of your being and defines you. Does it mean that if you ever stop thinking, you cease to exist? Have you ever had thoughts that weren't true, or random thoughts or ideas that popped into your head? Do you always choose the thoughts that you have or do they just come into your head, sometimes without any conscious effort on your part? Have you ever had an argument with yourself in your head, using multiple different voices to weigh the pros and cons of a point, almost as if two separate people are having a conversation? Well, how can you really be both of those? How can those be your essence? Have you ever acted without thinking? Acted without thinking? So are you, your thoughts? Are your thoughts what defines you? No, because you don't cease to exist when you're not having a thought. You aren't solely defined by the thoughts that you have. So your thoughts aren't you. They're an extension of you, but they aren't you. They're an extension of you, but they aren't you.
Speaker 1:You are the one who experiences your thoughts. You are the consciousness, or the awareness that experiences your thoughts. Because that consciousness, that awareness, your thoughts, because that consciousness, that awareness experiences your life, even when you're not thinking about things. We're going to explore this idea that you are that silent awareness. You are a consciousness that simply experiences your life. We're going to uncover how our minds are brilliant yet sometimes deceptive storytellers constantly waving narratives about our world and our place in it. And, most importantly, we're about to discuss the incredible freedom that comes from realizing that these stories aren't always true and how you can begin to write a new narrative, a more empowering chapter for yourself.
Speaker 1:So right now, I'm talking to you, the consciousness that's experiencing this podcast, that is hearing my voice. Think about it. You can observe your thoughts as they arise and as they pass. You can notice your feelings of sadness or joy without being completely consumed by them. This observer, this awareness, is the real you. So let's take this a step further. Are you your feelings? No, because your feelings change as time goes on. You are not constantly one emotion, one feeling. It ebbs and flows. You are the one who experiences your emotions, your feelings, your pain and your pleasure.
Speaker 1:Are you your senses? Well, if you were defined by your senses, wouldn't that mean that somebody who goes blind would lose a huge part of themselves? Would they partially cease to exist? No, you are the consciousness who is aware of your senses. So are you your body. Well, in a way, yes, your brain is the physical entity that houses your consciousness, your mind, but you, as you experience it are the consciousness that lives inside your body that experiences all of the sensations and the actions and the feelings and the physical effects of your body, not just the body itself. This is because we can have out-of-body experiences. We can dream we wouldn't be able to do these things or have all of the thoughts and emotions and feelings that don't outwardly express in the body if we weren't the consciousness that experiences all of it.
Speaker 1:So, if you're not your body, you're not your thoughts, you're not your feelings, you're not your senses, are you your past? Are you your future? You have been you throughout time, since you were born, all the way up through when you die. Are you your job, your relationship to other people? Are you a series of descriptive words created by the English or some other language, or do you exist outside of those? Yes, you are the consciousness that experiences your life. This observer, this awareness, is the real you. It's the constant in your life, the silent witness to every experience. This is the essence of consciousness. It's the canvas on which the painting of your life is created, the story of you, which brings us to the power of stories.
Speaker 1:Our brains are meaning-making machines. It was evolutionarily advantageous for us to weave narratives so that we could understand the world through stories and predict what might happen next. It's one of the fundamentals of how our brain conceives things. We are three-dimensional beings that experience time linearly. All that is fancy jargon to say. We experience reality and our life as a story that we are currently living through, which means the easiest way for us to think about things is to create stories surrounding them.
Speaker 1:We are wired for narrative. It's how we make sense of the chaos of life and the world around us. It's how we make sense of the chaos of life and the world around us. It lets us focus and not take in every tiny detail that doesn't necessarily help us in our situation and, especially back in the day, the things that didn't help us survive. We take these disparate events and string them together into a coherent plot. This is our personal narrative. But here's the catch Our narrative, our mind, isn't always reliable.
Speaker 1:It's biased by our past experiences, our fears, our inherent cognitive biases, our tendency towards logical fallacies, our insecurities, our beliefs and the fact that our brain can only take so much information in at a time, meaning that we never have the full story. Now that might sound kind of intimidating and scary, like I'm saying your brain sucks, it doesn't. It needs to function this way. If it didn't, we wouldn't have survived. We wouldn't survive today. The information overload would drive us insane. We can only really focus on or think about one thing at a time. All of the tiny calculations, subconsciously, that are necessary for us to live our lives, in addition to having a certain degree of rational, logical thought, is beyond what any current supercomputer can compute. Life, and especially humans, are incredible miracles of existence, and especially humans are incredible miracles of existence, and we are so lucky to be humans living in a world with such a powerful amount of abundance compared to what it has been in the past.
Speaker 1:These flaws in our brain's ability to see the world in a truly objective way are why the stories that we tell ourselves can easily get us stuck. We start to believe these stories as absolute truths. I'm not good enough to start that business. Becomes a fact, not just a thought. I'll never find a loving partner. Becomes a prophecy, not just a fear. We live our lives within the confines of these self-created stories, often without ever questioning their validity. But what if you could become the editor of your own story by understanding that you are the one experiencing your story, your life, and that just because your brain tells you stories about your life and the world that you live in, it doesn't make them true? And by detaching ourselves from our thoughts as our identities, we create a whole nother level of power and agency over our lives.
Speaker 1:Now I think it's important that I give a little bit of shades of gray here. First, there's absolutely no reason to shame yourself for any of the things that I just said. These are just a part of who we are as human beings. It's okay that we have cognitive biases they're hardwired into us. It's okay that some of the stories your brain is going to tell you are not going to be true In fact, a ton of them especially because we are constantly projecting stories into the future as if they were truth and many times they are so loosely based in reality, because we are making a bunch of assumptions and then judgments, and then labels, and then further assumptions that we get so far off from what it is that it barely resembles reality in the first place. We're all human. This is normal. Give yourself some grace and have some compassion for yourself and for the people around you. We're all just trying to live our lives to the best of our ability.
Speaker 1:Our brains had to work this way so that we could be around today. It's okay. But having awareness of this helps you control, for it helps you take agency over your story and, most importantly, it helps you take control of your perspective of reality. By keeping an awareness that our perspective of reality shapes our experience of reality and therefore, the stories that we tell ourselves about reality, we can control for these biases. We can catch ourselves with unhelpful thoughts, stories, perspectives, and reshape and reframe to a much more helpful and often a much more true story.
Speaker 1:I also want to clarify it's okay to have a self-concept, to have a self-image. It is how our brains work. It helps us piece all of these extensions of ourselves mind, body, emotions, thoughts, past, present, experiences—to our consciousness, and our self-image can be a very powerful tool, but, like any tool, it can be constructive or destructive. So how do you become the editor of your own story? How do you take a step back and see these narratives for what they are Mental constructs, not unchangeable realities? Well, this is where the real work of personal development begins. It's about cultivating the ability to differentiate between your true self, your conscious awareness, and the stories that your mind tells you. It's a skill, a practice, a muscle, and it happens to be the primary driving force behind the practice of mindfulness, of paying attention to the present moment without judgment, or, as our mindfulness expert, laura Sage, said it when she was on this podcast curiosity and non-judgment.
Speaker 1:When a negative thought or a limiting belief arises, instead of immediately identifying with it, you can simply acknowledge it Ah, there's that, I'm not good enough. Story again. By doing this, you create a space between you and that thought. In that space lies your power. It's a form of detachment. You can choose whether or not to engage with that story, because you understand that it's just a story that you're telling yourself. You can choose to believe it or you can choose to let it go.
Speaker 1:This brings to mind a powerful quote from the renowned Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, carl Jung Jung, who dedicated his life to exploring the depths of the human psyche, once said I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become. I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become. Let that sink in. I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become. This is the essence of what we're talking about today.
Speaker 1:Now, yes, you might be thinking I thought I'm the consciousness. Yes, you are the consciousness that experienced everything that happened to you, and you are also the consciousness who can make the conscious choice of what you are going to choose to become in your own life, in your own personal narrative. The events of your life, the what happened to you, are simply just the raw material of your story. The what happened to you are simply just the raw material of your story, and your brain, this meaning-making machine, always wants to attach judgments to it. But using mindfulness, you, the consciousness, have the power to choose what you become, to choose the meaning you assign to those events by taking control of your conscious perspective. Now, I know this might all sound a bit abstract, but it's actually backed by some pretty fascinating scientific research.
Speaker 1:Neuroscientists are now able to see how our brains construct these narratives. They call it the narrative self. Studies in the field of narrative psychology by researchers like Dan McAdams have shown that the stories we tell ourselves have a profound impact on our well-being. For instance, research has found that people who are able to find redemptive themes in their life stories, meaning they can see how difficult experiences have led to growth and positive outcomes, tend to have higher levels of happiness and life satisfaction. This demonstrates that it's not just the events of our lives that matter, but how we interpret and narrate them. Furthermore, studies using fmri have shown that when we engage in self-reflection and think about our personal stories, specific networks in our brain light up. This suggests that our brains are literally wired for this kind of narrative construction. But the exciting part is that these neural pathways are not fixed Through practices like mindfulness and cognitive reframing. We actually rewire our brains to tell more empowering stories, and there's even a physical process of the brain called neuroplasticity. That is a physical rewiring of our brains. So how can we start to apply this in our own life? Here are a few practical steps.
Speaker 1:Number one practice mindfulness. Start by building the muscle of mindfulness and simply observing your thoughts without judgment. Be the awareness. You can do this through meditation or just by taking a few moments through your day to check in with your inner world, by bringing your awareness to the present moment and just noticing things as they arise, the sounds you hear, the feeling of your feet on the ground, the beating of your heart. By bringing yourself to the present moment, you get more in tune with your conscious awareness and give yourself a break from never-ending thoughts.
Speaker 1:Number two question your stories. When you notice a reoccurring negative thought or belief or story about someone else, ask yourself is this story 100% true? What evidence do I have for it and against it? What's a more empowering story I could tell myself? Is this story a shade of gray or is it just black and white? And then, number three rewrite your narrative Actively. Choose to focus on different stories of resilience, of growth and of strength. Acknowledge your challenges, but also celebrate your triumphs. You are the author of your life story. You can write your own story Embracing the fact that you are the consciousness that experiences your life's story. You can write your own story Embracing the fact that you are the consciousness that experiences your life and that the stories you tell yourself are just that. Stories that you're telling yourself is one of the most liberating realizations you can have. It's a journey from being a character in this predetermined play to becoming the author of your own life. I hope this episode has sparked a new perspective on who you are and the incredible power that you hold to shape your reality. And remember you are enough and you deserve to fill up your inner cup with happiness, confidence and self-compassion.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening to the Sage Solutions Podcast. Your time is valuable and I'm so glad you choose to learn and grow here with me. We'd love to hear your feedback, so click the link in the description and let us know what you think. If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss out on more sage advice. One last thing the legal language. This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. No coaching client relationship is formed. It is not intended as a substitute for the personalized advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist or other qualified professional.