Sage Solutions
Advice and insight about personal growth, personal development, and becoming your best self.
Sage Solutions
The Waiting Game: Patience in an Instant World
Patience is a complex emotional strength that shapes decision-making, manages stress, and influences creativity—it's not just the ability to wait without frustration but a muscle that can be built over time through practice and intention.
• Scientific research like the "marshmallow test" shows children who delay gratification often experience better life outcomes including academic success and improved emotional regulation
• Patience is closely linked to discipline and grit—the number one predictor of success according to researchers like Duckworth
• Neurobiologically, practicing patience activates brain regions associated with executive function and emotional regulation
• Growing up with ADHD taught David to develop extraordinary patience as a coping mechanism, becoming one of his greatest strengths
• In our fast-paced society conditioned for instant gratification, patience has become a rare and valuable superpower
• Balance is key—combining the initiative of "Eager Eagle" with the thoughtful preparation of "Patient Pig" creates the most effective approach
• Practical strategies to build patience include mindfulness meditation, reframing challenges as opportunities, practicing deliberate delay, setting realistic expectations, and reflecting on past successes
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Welcome to the Sage Solutions Podcast, where we talk about all things personal growth, personal development and becoming your best self. My name is David Sage and I am a self-worth and confidence coach with Sage Coaching Solutions. Today, we're taking a deep dive into the science and art of patience. Patience really is a virtue and it's key to unlocking success, resilience and inner peace. In this episode, we're going to talk about the power of patience and explore what it truly means to be patient, how it influences our lives, both emotionally and physically, and why cultivating patience could be the missing piece in your personal development puzzle. Over the next 20 minutes, we'll examine inspiring insights, grounded scientific research and practical strategies that you can implement in your daily life. So settle in, take a slow, deep breath and let's go on this journey together. But before we get into it, our goal with this podcast is to share free, helpful tools with you and anyone you know who is looking to improve their life. So take action, subscribe and share this podcast with them.
Speaker 1:Patience is often described as the ability to wait without anxiety or frustration, but it's much more than that. It's a complex emotional strength that shapes our decision making. It helps us manage stress and even influences our creativity. Think about the last time you experienced a setback or a delay. How did you react? It's in these moments when the outcome is uncertain that the virtue of patience is both challenged and defined, because patience is a trait, a muscle that's built over time. It can be unhelpful to only think of it as you're patient when you don't feel any stress or anxiety about having to wait. You can willfully be patient by forcing yourself to wait and maybe finding ways to ease that anxiety or the nerves through practices like mindfulness and by using your willpower and discipline. We can also think about the fact that there are many situations where there's nothing we can do to speed up the results or the situation, meaning it's out of our locus of control. In these situations, we are practicing patience by letting go of what we can't control and being present and waiting. Now, we don't always have to be present. You can also take that time to think about other things and utilize the extra time that's been created by having to wait. This is actually one of my favorite strategies.
Speaker 1:In our fast-paced society, where immediate gratification is the norm, patience might seem outdated or even unnecessary. However, I'm going to make the argument that patience is even more critical of a skill than it has ever been, because current society has an epidemic of a lack of patience. We've been conditioned by the world that we live in to seek instant gratification, because instant gratification has been more accessible than it ever has in human history, which also means that we avoid discomfort, especially the discomfort of boredom. And building patience, like any other skill, is like a muscle, and we have to sit in the discomfort of waiting to build our patience. However, our ability to wait or take our time, to be patient, is a critical skill, and that skill can empower you to make thoughtful decisions and persist in the face of obstacles. Over the coming minutes, we'll explore why patience is indispensable for personal growth and how it can improve your relationships, work and overall well-being.
Speaker 1:Imagine a gardener planting a seed. At first glance, the process may seem inactive or slow. In fact, you won't see results for days, possibly even weeks, but with careful nurturing and time, a robust plant eventually emerges. Much like gardening, personal progress often requires a steady commitment. It's when we apply a slight edge, a steady commitment. It's when we apply a slight edge, small daily disciplines, easy to do, easy not to do, over time, that we see a compound effect from the consistency. And in order to get ourselves to do this slight edge, this compound effect, patience and faith that what we're doing now will pay off in the long run. It requires long-term or even infinite thinking, but, most importantly, the ability to be patient. When we practice this powerful skill, we're not just waiting, we're actively engaging in growth, reflection and learning, and we're often present and in the moment, taking a mindful stance.
Speaker 1:Now let's shift our focus to the scientific insights that reveal why patience is more than just waiting. It's a cornerstone of self-regulation and emotional resilience. And let me tell you science has a lot to say about patience and self-control. One of the landmark studies that comes to mind in research on delayed gratification was led by Walter Mischel and his colleagues. In their famous experiment, often referred to as the marshmallow test, children were given a choice Enjoy a small treat immediately or wait a bit for a larger reward. The outcomes of this study revealed that children who were able to delay their gratification often experienced better life outcomes. Often experienced better life outcomes. This ranged from academic success to improved emotional regulation later in life. The study highlights a key element of patience the ability to delay instant gratification for greater benefit in the future Sounds a lot like discipline, which we talked about in a previous episode, because it is.
Speaker 1:In order to have discipline, it requires both self-control and patience. And, just to be clear, they tested whether kids had the ability to delay their gratification by saying they could have one marshmallow now, or if they waited a short period of time, they could have two marshmallows instead. You might be thinking okay, that's great, david, but I'm not a kid waiting for marshmallows. So how does this apply to me as an adult or someone in high school listening to this? Well, when we view patience as an investment in our future, it becomes clear that self-control isn't just about saying no to temptations. It's about creating a structure in our lives that supports long-term growth and success. As we navigate the ups and downs of our daily lives, the ability to pause, reflect and choose our responses carefully can be transformative. It sounds a lot like taking control of your conscious perspective to frame things in a different light and using curiosity and critical thinking to think it through.
Speaker 1:In addition to the marshmallow test, more recent research underscores the benefits of patience in various aspects of life. A study by Duckworth and Seligman demonstrated that self-discipline, a trait closely linked with patience, is often a better predictor of academic and professional success than raw IQ. In their study, individuals who exhibited greater self-control were more likely to persist in difficult tasks and reach their long-term goals, even in the face of distractions. Now you might remember the name Duckworth she's the primary researcher on grit, and grit is the number one predictor of success, which means cultivating patience is one of the essential keys to developing grit. The research is significant because it reveals that patience is not just a passive waiting game. It's an active process of self-management. Whether you're facing career challenges, investing in a new skill or nurturing personal relationships, the quality of your patience can shape outcomes dramatically and on a neurobiological level, patience involves the activation of brain regions associated with executive function and with emotional regulation. By practicing patience, we're effectively training our brains to handle stress more gracefully. This leads to improved mental health and cognitive performance. Ultimately, these studies remind us that patience is both a natural human ability and a skill that can be honed over time through practice and intention.
Speaker 1:Growing up because of my ADHD, I found that it tended to take me longer to do things than other people. My lack of organization and regularly misplaced items had me spending time backtracking, finding things, looking for things in a disorganized mess, getting distracted and having to go back and, overall, taking longer, and I have to say it wasn't fun. But one thing that I gained from my experiences as a kid with pretty profound ADHD at least on the attention deficit side, less on the hyperactive, impulsive side was I had to live with myself constantly and I say this jokingly, but I'm also not joking. In order to deal with myself on a daily basis, I had to become patient and it wasn't always easy. But building patience, just like anything else, is like a muscle, and now I believe that I'm a very patient person.
Speaker 1:I think it's one of my strongest suits and I do believe that patience is a virtue, it is a superpower. It brings a lot of peace to life. It helps you be mindful and take a step back and just be present in the moment and not always worrying about what you have to get done. Being patient gives you the wherewithal to take a step back and use strategies like mindfulness, stoicism, taking a look at what's going on and focusing on your locus of control, or analyzing things through critical thinking and thinking in shades of gray, or rethinking things, because when you're not in a rush, you have time to really think things through. It also gives you the space to take control of your conscious perspective, so that you're less reactive and you're choosing how you're showing up, and that's a self-fulfilling prophecy. By choosing a perspective of patience, you now have more room to practice patience, which gives you time to take more control over your perspective.
Speaker 1:And the reason I said it's really a superpower is because patience is lacking more and more in people these days. We don't have the types of jobs like farmers had. We had to sow our crops and wait until they hopefully survived. You had to have patience to see results. Well, the more rare a skill is, the more valuable and useful it becomes, and, as I mentioned, it is a key part for persistence, perseverance, consistency, discipline and grit. Yes, this is a trait that can give you more peace of mind and more effective results, and the willingness to think things through more can also make you smarter. But, just like anything else, taking patience to an extreme or using it at times that don't make sense isn't always necessarily a good thing. In an emergency situation, slowing way down and using a lot of patience is probably not going to help you.
Speaker 1:Gary Vaynerchuk actually talks about the concept of balancing initiative and eagerness and assertiveness with patience and consistency. He even wrote a children's book about it. I believe the title was Meet Me in the Middle. The story is about an eager eagle who is so eager to just get out there and do it that he doesn't think things through, and it causes problems for him. But he's also the first one there. He's taking initiative and some of that works out for him. However, patient Pig does the opposite. He takes his time, gets fully ready and ends up missing the bus to the big game, causing him to show up late but prepared with a plan that ends up winning them the game. Both strategies, when taken to extremes, can come with downsides, but the thing is they don't have to be opposites. You can actually cultivate efficiency, assertiveness and initiative like eager eagle, while also having patience, self-control and consistency, as well as preparation, like patient pig. To basically sum it up, when they actually worked together and played to each other's strengths, they accomplished way more when they met in the middle. So how can we cultivate this powerful skill in our daily life? Here are some actionable strategies that I've found and that the research supports to help you build greater patience, mindfulness and meditation.
Speaker 1:Engaging in regular mindfulness practices can help train your brain to slow down and be present. Even a few minutes of meditation each day can shift your perspective, making you less reactive and more deliberate. Try focusing on your breath or using guided meditation apps that encourage slow, mindful breathing. Notice the things in your surroundings or the sensations on your body in the present moment. Over time, you'll find that these moments of stress or irritation lose their grip on you. Reframe your challenges as opportunities Instead of viewing delays and obstacles as setbacks. See them as opportunities to learn something new about yourself. When you're frustrated by a long wait or an unforeseen setback, ask yourself what can I learn from this situation? This reframing of your conscious perspective and of the situation at hand can transform irritation into curiosity and growth.
Speaker 1:Practice deliberate delay. Build in small moments of intentional waiting into your routine. For example, if you have a habit of rushing decisions, be it in your work, email or everyday purchases, pause for a few seconds to reflect before responding. This simple exercise strengthens your ability to hold space for uncertainty and can lead to more thoughtful decisions. Set realistic expectations.
Speaker 1:Sometimes impatience stems from unrealistic expectations. By setting achievable goals and recognizing that progress often happens in small, incremental steps, you can reduce the pressure you place on yourself. Celebrate the small wins along the way and remember that every step forward is progress and even better yet if you can help it. Try not to have expectations, just positive hopes. And lastly, reflect on your past successes. Recall those times in your life when patience has paid off. Remember that you waited for a promotion or persevered through a tough project. Reflect on these successes as evidence that waiting and enduring challenges can lead to significant rewards. This reflection can bolster your resilience when you encounter new challenges and can help you start to think of yourself as somebody who has patience, who uses patience. By integrating these strategies into your daily routine and even, possibly, your identity, you not only cultivate patience, but also build a stronger foundation for your personal development. Each moment spent embracing the practice of patience is an investment in your future, your well-being and your success. This process is gradual, like learning any new skill. It requires consistency, self-compassion and the willingness to face discomfort, but trust that over time, the rewards will compound and will eventually be profound.
Speaker 1:As we get closer to the end of today's episode, I'd like to share one piece of wisdom that has always resonated with me. Emerson once said Adopt the pace of nature, her secret is patience. This great quote reminds us that, just as nature unfolds in its own time, our personal journeys cannot be rushed. Embracing the slow, natural progression of life allows us to appreciate each moment and learn from every experience. Let's take a moment now to reflect on one area of your life where you might benefit from a little more patience, whether it's a project at work, a personal relationship or even your own inner growth. Consider how a shift to a patient perspective could yield transformative results.
Speaker 1:I'm glad you were able to join me today on this exploration of the power of patience. We examined what patience is, why it matters and, most importantly, how you can cultivate it in your everyday life. Remember that personal growth is not an overnight journey. With each mindful moment and every deliberate pause, you're investing in a richer, more fulfilling future. I encourage you to try one of the strategies that we discussed today and reflect on your experiences. Let patience guide you towards a calmer, more centered life. Let patience guide you towards a calmer, more centered life, and remember you are enough and you deserve to fill up your inner cup with happiness, confidence and self-compassion.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening to the Sage Solutions Podcast. Your time is valuable and I'm so glad that you choose to learn and grow here with me. If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss out on more Sage advice. One last thing the legal language. This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. No coaching client relationship is formed. It is not intended as a substitute for the personalized advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist or other qualified professional.