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Overcome Obstacles with Stoicism
Can mastering your emotions truly transform your life? Join me on the Sage Solutions Podcast as we uncover the ancient wisdom of Stoicism and its profound impact on personal growth and resilience. Inspired by Ryan Holiday's "The Obstacle is the Way," I share my personal journey into Stoicism and how its timeless teachings have reshaped my approach to life's challenges. Discover the origins of this powerful philosophy, founded by Zeno of Citium, and learn from the insights of key figures like Seneca, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius. Together, we'll explore how the core virtues of wisdom, courage, justice, and temperance offer a robust framework for enhancing self-worth and building emotional strength.
Today's episode brings Stoicism into the modern era, showcasing how contemporary thought leaders like Ryan Holiday and Tim Ferriss are using its principles to navigate everyday life. Far from being an antiquated doctrine, Stoicism empowers us to master rather than suppress our emotions, offering tools to transform obstacles into opportunities for growth. Listen in as I share personal anecdotes and practical applications of Stoic teachings, demonstrating their ability to foster calmness and reason in the midst of crisis. With these insights, you'll be encouraged to embrace reality, respond thoughtfully to challenges, and cultivate the resilience needed to become the best version of yourself.
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The Sage Solutions Podcast and content posted by David Sage is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. No coaching client relationship is formed by listening to this podcast. No Legal, Medical or Financial advice is being given. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user's own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice, diagnosis, or treatment of a psychotherapist, physician, professional coach, Lawyer or other qualified professional. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions. The opinions of guests are their own and may not necessarily reflect the opinions of the podcast.
Welcome to the Sage Solutions Podcast, where we talk about all things personal growth, personal development and becoming your best self. My name is David Sage and I am a self-worth and confidence coach with Sage Coaching Solutions. In this episode, we're going to talk about a philosophy that's as relevant today as it was 2,000 years ago. That's right. We're going to explore stoicism and how we can use its teachings to face life's obstacles, stay resilient when we fail and ultimately become a better version of ourselves. Now I know this might sound like a heavy or even dry topic. When many people hear philosophy, they think of a bunch of old white guys in togas standing around talking about semantics, and sometimes that was the case, but today we're here to break it down, make it practical and maybe even a little fun. So let's get into it. I was introduced to Stoicism almost 10 years ago. One of the first personal development books I ever read was the book the Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday. This book took the teachings of the philosophy of Stoicism and broke them down in a way that made them easy to understand and stressed the real-life applicability of them. It was really the first philosophy that I ever studied.
Speaker 1:The definition of philosophy is the study of the fundamental nature of knowledge, reality and or existence, especially when considered as an academic discipline. Not every philosophy explores all of these things. Some philosophies focus on just one of them. Some philosophies focus on just a specific area of life. There can be overarching philosophies or people can have personal philosophies focus on just a specific area of life. There can be overarching philosophies or people can have personal philosophies that combine things from many other philosophies. Really, they're perspectives or ways of looking at life, and Stoicism is just one of those philosophies.
Speaker 1:In many ways, I consider myself a practicing Stoic. I don't necessarily agree with everything that Stoicism presents. I feel certain parts are slightly outdated and that at times it doesn't have enough nuance or shades of gray. But let's be real. I basically say that about practically everything. Anything taken to an extreme can be a bad thing. Anything taken out of proportion can be too much. However, many of the guidelines of Stoicism have stood the test of time and in many ways, this is the first philosophy that really had major personal development aspects built into it Before we get into it.
Speaker 1:Our goal with this podcast is to share free, helpful tools with you and anyone you know who is looking to improve their life. So take action, subscribe and share this podcast with them. Now I think it's important to go over a little bit of the history of Stoicism and what it actually is, before I get too deep into how we can apply it and how it's affected my life. So let's give it some background. First, a little history.
Speaker 1:Stoicism was founded in Athens around 300 BC by a philosopher named Zeno of Sidium. He started teaching in a place called the Stoa Poikile, or the Painted Porch in Greek, which is where the name Stoicism comes from. The central idea we can't control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond to it. At its core, it sounds pretty simple, right? Well, in my opinion, and in the opinion of many philosophers, it's one of the most powerful ideas in the history of philosophy. Over the years, stoicism evolved through three main phases the early, middle and late schools. Some of its most well-known figures are Marcus Aurelius, seneca and Epictetus. Now there were many other Stoics, including Zeno himself. Modern Stoicism is founded on the ideas of Marcus, seneca and Epictetus on the ideas of Marcus, seneca and Epictetus, because almost all of the literature that we have on Stoicism comes from these three powerful thought leaders. So let's quickly touch on these individuals and their contributions.
Speaker 1:First we have Seneca, a Roman statesman, playwright and advisor to Emperor Nero. Seneca's letters and essays focus on the importance of self-control and how to deal with adversity. He once said difficulties strengthen the mind as labor does the body. Sound familiar, kind of reminds me of the newest addition to the core fundamentals life is like a muscle, so build it. Then there's Epictetus, who started life as a slave. He was freed, became a teacher of Stoicism and wrote the Enchiridion, a manual for practical living. Epictetus believed that our greatest freedom lies in our ability to choose our responses. He said it's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.
Speaker 1:And lastly, we have Marcus Aurelius. He was a Roman emperor. Now you may remember this name as the bad guy in the gladiator. Now you may remember this name as the bad guy in the Gladiator. However, the portrayal of Marcus Aurelius in the Gladiator played by Joaquin Phoenix, while an excellent bad guy for the movie, was incredibly inaccurate to Marcus Aurelius' personality. The real Marcus Aurelius was my personal favorite Stoic because, despite his position as emperor, he's probably the most relatable Stoic.
Speaker 1:His personal writings, which are now titled Meditations, were basically his own journal his thoughts on how to lead a virtuous life in the midst of ruling an empire. He believed in accepting life as it is, knowing that external events are beyond our control. Here's one of his famous quotes you have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength. These three Stoics Seneca, epictetus and Marcus Aurelius offer timeless advice, and their teachings still resonate with us today.
Speaker 1:Now that we've touched on some of the history, let's dive into the four core virtues of Stoicism, which are wisdom, courage, justice and temperance. These virtues are the framework stoics use to navigate life's challenges, and they're just as relevant now as they were in ancient times. The first one, wisdom, is about understanding what's in our control and what's not. It's about making decisions based on reason rather than emotion. It's about accumulated experience and thinking things through before we act impulsively. Stoics encourage us to pause, reflect and think clearly before reacting to any situation. Second, we have courage. I've done a whole episode about courage. Courage is about taking action even when you feel fear. It's about feeling the fear and doing it anyways. It's not just about the physical bravery. It's about mental and emotional resilience. It's having the courage to face difficult truths, to keep going when life gets tough and to act with integrity when no one is watching.
Speaker 1:Justice, justice is about treating others fairly, with respect and in alignment with the common good. It's about being moral and ethical. It's about understanding we're all interconnected and that we're all responsible for each other's well-being in addition to our own. And the final virtue is temperance, which is about moderation, avoiding excess and practicing self-control. A huge part of their virtue of temperance was about delaying gratification. Sounds a lot like discipline, doesn't it? It's not about denying ourselves of any pleasure, but about understanding our desires and being able to choose what's best for us in the long run. In a sense, what they really meant was discipline. So these four virtues give us a roadmap for personal development. If we focus on improving these aspects of our life, in addition to some of the other fundamentals from the philosophy, we can better handle life's inevitable obstacles. Now here's where the rubber meets the road.
Speaker 1:How can we apply stoicism when things get tough? You know, when obstacles come up, when we fail or when we feel like life is just throwing one thing after another at us. That's when stoicism really shines. Take Marcus Aurelius, for instance. In meditations, he often reminds himself that obstacles are not something to be avoided, but something to be embraced. He says the impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way. This is one of the key teachings of Stoicism View obstacles not just as barriers, but as opportunities for growth. When something goes wrong, it's a chance to practice courage, wisdom and temperance. It's a reminder that our reactions are where our true power lies. And when we fail because, let's face it, failure is inevitable stoicism offers a way to reframe it.
Speaker 1:Epictetus said failure is not an event, it's a judgment. It's the way you choose to see it. Often, we judge anything less than perfect as failure. Here we are near the very end of January. Here we are near the very end of January. Now.
Speaker 1:Many of us set New Year's resolutions or goals and intentions for this new year, and in a previous episode I talked about some of the statistics surrounding the success rates of the average New Year's resolution. Now, in that episode, we set ourselves up with reflections and intentions, with flexibility and an understanding that it's not about being perfect. In order to achieve our goals, we have to keep going. You don't fail until you quit. We're trying to build a habit so that we have it for the long term and make realistic and achievable goals. When Epictetus says, failure is not an event, it's a judgment, we can apply that to the way that we feel about our resolutions. Did you have a day this month where you did not follow your resolution? Where you did not follow your resolution? Good, so did I. We're all human. We're not perfect, but I didn't fail. I didn't fail because I kept going. I chose not to judge it as a failure, but as an obstacle in the road, something I have to overcome and keep going.
Speaker 1:By taking the stoic approach, we continue. We don't let these obstacles get in our way. In fact, a true stoic lets the obstacles that pop up motivate them. Doing hard things, achieving hard things, is an opportunity for growth. It's an opportunity to do something worth doing, because there will always be obstacles in life. To do something worth doing because there will always be obstacles in life.
Speaker 1:We have to accept that life won't always be easy and the goal isn't comfort. We used to live a life of subsistence. Our entire life was just about surviving. We didn't have time for much leisure. We didn't have time or even invented most of the things that we consider comforts these days. Yet our perspective has changed due to having not experienced what it was like in the past. When obstacles come up, anything that makes us uncomfortable, we can often feel that it's unfair, like life is out to get us. But the reality of life is that life used to be uncomfortable all the time. We didn't have the common comforts and pleasures of today, which means it's really about perspective, and the Stoics saw that Now.
Speaker 1:There are times where we objectively have failure, but failure is not a bad thing. A quote by Thomas Watson Jr during his time as the second president of IBM If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate. Failure is an opportunity for growth. Failure is an opportunity to learn. Action is success. Outcomes good, bad, including failure, are about learning and even failure outcomes equal learning. Failure isn't a permanent state. It's simply a lesson to be learned. As long as you remain calm, assess the situation rationally and use the experience to become better, failure becomes a part of the process.
Speaker 1:But let's talk about a real-life example. Research shows that stoic principles can have a significant impact on mental resilience. In one study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology, participants who practiced stoic-like thinking, particularly in reframing negative events, showed higher levels of well-being and lower levels of stress. The researchers concluded that stoic principles actually make people more resilient in the face of adversity. This is a powerful reminder that Stoicism isn't just an ancient philosophy it's scientifically supported.
Speaker 1:So we've talked about the history of philosophy, but what about modern-day Stoics? Who's living this stuff today? Well, plenty of people from different walks of life have embraced Stoicism. A few notable ones include Abraham Lincoln, nelson Mandela and Barack Obama. These three prominent leaders from throughout more recent history all considered themselves Stoics and practiced Stoicism. Some other devotees of Stoicism include Ryan Holiday, author of the Daily Stoic the Obstacle is the Way and Ego is the Enemy. He's made Stoicism more accessible to a new generation. In fact, he often says the obstacle is the way. This is one of the most famous quotes and it really embodies the Stoic belief that adversity isn't something to avoid but something to move through. Tim Ferriss entrepreneur, podcaster, successful investor, world-renowned life hacker and author of the 4-Hour Workweek Ferriss, has often spoken about his Stoic practices, especially in handling anxiety and overcoming the fear of failure. These individuals, along with countless others, use Stoic practices to stay calm, make wise decisions and overcome obstacles in their daily lives. So the teachings of Marcus, seneca and Epictetus are far from outdated. They're practical, they're powerful and they're used by some of the most successful and resilient people today.
Speaker 1:One area where Stoicism really stands out is in its approach to emotions. Now, let's be clear. Stoicism isn't about suppressing or ignoring your feelings. About suppressing or ignoring your feelings, many people equate the philosophy of Stoicism to the modern word Stoic. There are two different definitions to the word Stoic. One is a devotee of Stoicism. The other, more commonly used one today, is someone who doesn't show their emotions, who is unresponsive to something that might normally elicit an emotion from someone. This is not what stoicism is about. It's not about suppressing or ignoring your feelings. It's not about becoming some emotionless robot. Instead, it's about developing mastery over your emotions so that you don't let them, so that they don't control you.
Speaker 1:The Stoics believe that emotions like anger, fear and sadness aren't inherently bad, but they're often the result of misconceptions or a lack of self-control. Misconceptions or a lack of self-control, for example, anger usually comes from our expectations being violated or when we perceive an injustice. Fear often arises when we're worried about outcomes that we can't control. But here's the key the Stoics believe that we can train ourselves to be less reactive to these emotions. Epictetus famously said we are disturbed not by what happens to us, but by our thoughts about what happens to us. This is where the power lies.
Speaker 1:Stoicism teaches that, while you can't always control the events that trigger your emotions, you can control how you think about those events when you're angry, rather than letting that emotion dictate your actions. The Stoic would ask what's the root of this anger? Is it something I can control, or is it an external event that I need to accept? When you feel fear, you can remind yourself that what's truly within your control is how you prepare for or respond to the situation, not the outcome itself. If you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you might be thinking, hey, a lot of this sounds kind of familiar, and you wouldn't be wrong.
Speaker 1:The Stoics were big believers and were honestly the originators of two of my core fundamentals that our perspective of reality shapes our experience of reality, and that it's best to focus on our locus of control up with these. The great thinkers of Stoic philosophy came up with these ideas literally thousands of years before I was born. I'm not special. I may have rephrased them in a way that makes them easy to remember and flush them out in this podcast, but, like most ideas, these concepts are not originally mine. Several of my other core fundamentals were addressed in the Stoic philosophies. Wisdom covers lifelong learning and finding the objective truth and, while not totally spelled out, shades of gray is one of the best ways to do it.
Speaker 1:Using obstacles to build ourself up like a muscle was also a big part of the Stoic philosophy. Ryan Holiday, in his book the Daily Stoic, says the greatest obstacle to living a life of virtue is the feeling that things should be different than they are. Stoicism teaches us to embrace reality as it is, not just as we wish it should be Now. This doesn't mean that we can't take steps to help, take steps to mold the world and our life to be a better version of itself. But we have to be realistic about this by recognizing that our emotions are often the product of how we interpret the world.
Speaker 1:Stoicism empowers us to shift our perspective, calm our minds and act from a place of reason rather than impulse. So next time that you're hit with a strong emotion and an impulse to act on it, try this Pause, breathe and reflect on the stoic question what is in my control here? Or, as I prefer, focus on your locus. This simple act of detachment can help you regain perspective and respond with clarity. But what does it really mean? Clarity? But what does it really mean? The stoic is often the person that people refer to as their emotional rock, the person who is excellent in an emergency situation, who snaps into action and gets things done in a crisis.
Speaker 1:I want to share a personal story that really tested my ability to stay calm and to apply stoic principles in the midst of a serious crisis. Several years ago, my father called me and he just sounded off. He then told me that he was pretty convinced he was having the start of a stroke. He started feeling numb and off on one side of his body, and when he was trying to mow the lawn he couldn't turn the riding mower quite right, and when he tried to button his pants, one side of his body wasn't allowing him to do it. Naturally, I was terrified.
Speaker 1:The emotions came rushing in fear, anxiety, worry for my father and the overwhelming urge to just freeze. But then I remembered something important from stoicism Our power lies in how we respond to events, not the events themselves. As the emotions started to surge, I took a step back and took a breath, something Epictetus once said. We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them. But we can always choose how we respond to them. I realized that panicking wasn't going to help my dad. What I could do was my response, my actions and my ability to stay calm and level-headed in a high-stress situation. And in that moment, I put the four stoic virtues to work.
Speaker 1:Wisdom was about quickly assessing the situation and deciding on the best course of action. The situation called for urgency, so I immediately took action and drove over to pick him up, like he was asking me to do, since I only lived like two minutes away. Courage meant acting in the face of the fear, the fear that I didn't know what was going to happen to my dad. There was a lot. I didn't know about what was happening, but I had to move forward despite my fear and my uncertainty. Justice came later and was about being fair to myself, not beating myself up for not being perfect in this situation, for occasionally feeling that fear spiking. It was about having self-compassion and not repeatedly asking myself what if I got him there faster? What if it isn't fast? What if I didn't get him there fast enough, and temperance was about not letting my anxiety dictate my actions.
Speaker 1:Now, in this situation, I was utilizing the energy that the anxiety was causing me, but I was trying my absolute best to keep a stoic mindset and keep my head about myself. I knew that staying composed would allow me to make better decisions and offer my dad with the support he needed. I called upon wisdom by asking him questions so I could also help understand the situation better and answer questions for the doctors as best as I could. As we made our way to the hospital, I was speeding, but not an amount that might get us pulled over, because taking that risk wasn't worth it. The hospital was pretty close.
Speaker 1:I kept reminding myself that this situation was terrifying, but it wasn't something I could control. I couldn't make him not have a mini-stroke. I couldn't control whether he was going to be okay or how serious it could be, but I could control my actions and my mindset. I could keep myself calm and focused, which would help me be the best support that I could for him. In that moment it wasn't about me, it was about him. It was about doing my best. Thankfully, it turned out that he was only having a mini-stroke and the medicine that they gave him cleared it up before there was any permanent damage. But even though the outcome turned out okay, the situation was still incredibly stressful. I'm not saying it was easy, but through the lens of stoicism, I was able to focus on my locus and take control of my conscious perspective to be the most effective and helpful version of myself, to stay calm and take action. What I'm trying to say is that life doesn't always give us smooth sailing, and unexpected crises can hit at any moment, and stoicism doesn't necessarily make those tough moments easier, but it does give us a framework to navigate through them with strength, clarity and resilience, so that I could be the best version of myself for someone that I love in an emergency.
Speaker 1:Let's wrap this up with a few actionable takeaways. How can we start using stoicism to tackle life's challenges? First, focus on what you can control. Figure out what your objective locus of control is. Stop worrying about the things that you can't control and keep your focus on what you can.
Speaker 1:When you're faced with an obstacle, ask yourself what can I control here? You can't control the weather, you can't control other people's actions or the outcome of every situation, but you can control your thoughts, your actions and your attitude. Focus on that. Let go of the rest.
Speaker 1:Second, reframe your failures. When things don't go your way, don't dwell on the negative. Instead, see it as a learning. Experience Outcomes equal learning. As Epictetus says, it's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.
Speaker 1:And finally, third, embrace obstacles as opportunities. Remember Marcus Aurelius' quote the impediment to action advances action. Obstacles aren't there to stop you. They're there to help you grow. The obstacle is the way. So, in moments of struggle, turn to Stoic principles to guide you. Whether you're dealing with failure, a setback or just a rough day. Remember you have the power to choose your response.
Speaker 1:Alright, well, that's it for today's episode on stoicism and overcoming obstacles. I hope you found it helpful and that you found some things that you can take away from this and apply some of these stoic principles in your life as you navigate your own challenges. And remember you are enough and you deserve to fill up your inner cup with happiness, confidence and self-compassion. Thank you for listening to the Sage Solutions Podcast. Your time is valuable and I'm so glad that you choose to learn and grow here with me. If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss out on more sage advice. One last thing the legal language. This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. No coaching client relationship is formed. It is not intended as a substitute for the personalized advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist or other qualified professional.